THE FIRST THING YOU MUST REMEMBER as a Foster/Adoptive Parent is TO TAKE CARE OF YOU... You cannot be the best you can be to advocate for the child in your care unless you make sure your in a good space. What works for one may not work for another. For me I needed to challenge myself so I became a zumba instructor, NOT THAT I would find time to teach, but I needed to do something for me. And guess what I did find a time to teach and take my child with me. In the second quarter of 2018 I will be teaching at church in Hernando 1 or two nights a week. However, if you need a little workout in the morning, believe me it HELPS, endorphins are a natural anti depressant. I get up at 430 AM EST and workout at 445 to 530 doing zumba. If you have a computer and some space I can give you a link to workout with me, I promise you all fitness levels can do it and you will have a great start to the day. Just Remember if your not taking care of you, you can't really be a good parent. Its not selfish, its needed
Checklist of information you will need for placement
1. If you will require daycare when you take placement, make sure this is communicated to your social worker and put in your file.
2. Ask for the medical transport (which is a medical history of the child) and medical permission form (this letter will allow you to sign medical/school/early intervention, etc.).
3. Request the child's social worker, their supervisor, and the APM (area program manager) for their office. Keep a journal of the history of the child while in your care. Documentation is critical – especially keep a history of how the child is before and after visits.
4. Attend your foster care reviews, which are every six months. This is very important for the child in your care, to give and receive information.
5. Ask questions of school age children, especially if it pertains to an IEP (individual education plan). This will be key to what is going with the school and the services that are available for the child.
6. You will become an advocate by need/choice. If you find that any child in your care is having developmental delays, make an appointment with Mass General for their LEAPS program or Children's Hospital for their Developmental Science Program. It can take three weeks to three months to obtain an appointment, but it is crucial for a child with special needs.
7. Request that the child's health insurance be changed to Mass Health Standard – this will save you tons of time and you won't need any referrals.
8. You must bring the child to a doctor within seven days of placement. FYI some children will be very behind on vaccines because of their birth parents’ no DCF.
9. REPORT any bump or bruise. If you don't, you run the risk of DCF or the birth parent filing a 51A report for neglect. Even if these are found unsupported (not guilty) it can ruin your prospect of housing and/or job because they stay attached to your name. There is legislation trying to have these removed, but that hasn't happened yet.
10. Try not to decorate the child's room too much – let them feel like they some power and can decorate it themselves. In this day and age of social media you are sometimes able to obtain family photos from Facebook, etc., to put in their room.
11. Be prepared for not receiving a lot of clothing. Be prepared for outbursts. Remember, if your house were on fire and you were given five minutes to retrieve your things, that’s how they feel – PLUS they have no family. It may seem overwhelming at first, but try to practice patience and understanding. They are not being "bad" – they are just scared. They are coming to you with an emotional suitcase, and it will take time to see what is in it!
12. If you have some time, go to YouTube and watch two very enlightening foster care videos to give you some insight:
ReMoved Part 1
Remember My Story - ReMoved Part 2
13. Lastly, remember that the goal in foster care is reunification. Don't give up on the children. Adoption can happen, but your first action is to make them feel safe, loved, and secure.
Clothing
Savers (a Boston area thrift store chain) always has 50% off all clothing on holidays and Sundays with a rewards card (it’s free – get one prior to a sale). Walmart is always good for kids’ clothing. Contact me if you need baby items and I will try to help you locate a source.
If you find that you have an emergency placement and need clothing, please contact me – I will find a way to help you. Please remember if you agree to an emergency placement you are supposed to get a gift card to help with necessary items for the child. Cradle to Crayons also has a diaper bank. If you run out and buy diapers in an emergency DO NOT use CVS diapers – they will leak like crazy. Walgreens and Target have the best no-name diaper options if you’re not using Pampers/Huggies/Luvs. The Toys R US premium brand is pretty good as well, but NOT their value brand. If you take in a child under five, apply for WIC – you can usually get an appointment within a week, since a lot of people do not show up for their appointments. This will help with formula, which can be very expensive. WIC also has some great workshops for parents and foster parents of children under five.
Mid-June 2015 I will have clothing available for emergency placement. They will be separated by age, gender, and size. It will be enough for a couple of days until you get your gift card, as you are supposed to. THIS IS THE PROCEDURE for ALL emergency placements or until you can get to a store. If you are not given a gift card for an emergency placement, request one. If the social worker after placement says it's not an emergency placement, when originally that's what you were told, report it to their supervisor. Ask for the contact information for the Foster Parent Liaison contact at their office. If they do not know, contact MSPCC (Mass Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Children). Remember, I walked the walk and I know what it’s like to take in children and have nothing come with them.
1. If you will require daycare when you take placement, make sure this is communicated to your social worker and put in your file.
2. Ask for the medical transport (which is a medical history of the child) and medical permission form (this letter will allow you to sign medical/school/early intervention, etc.).
3. Request the child's social worker, their supervisor, and the APM (area program manager) for their office. Keep a journal of the history of the child while in your care. Documentation is critical – especially keep a history of how the child is before and after visits.
4. Attend your foster care reviews, which are every six months. This is very important for the child in your care, to give and receive information.
5. Ask questions of school age children, especially if it pertains to an IEP (individual education plan). This will be key to what is going with the school and the services that are available for the child.
6. You will become an advocate by need/choice. If you find that any child in your care is having developmental delays, make an appointment with Mass General for their LEAPS program or Children's Hospital for their Developmental Science Program. It can take three weeks to three months to obtain an appointment, but it is crucial for a child with special needs.
7. Request that the child's health insurance be changed to Mass Health Standard – this will save you tons of time and you won't need any referrals.
8. You must bring the child to a doctor within seven days of placement. FYI some children will be very behind on vaccines because of their birth parents’ no DCF.
9. REPORT any bump or bruise. If you don't, you run the risk of DCF or the birth parent filing a 51A report for neglect. Even if these are found unsupported (not guilty) it can ruin your prospect of housing and/or job because they stay attached to your name. There is legislation trying to have these removed, but that hasn't happened yet.
10. Try not to decorate the child's room too much – let them feel like they some power and can decorate it themselves. In this day and age of social media you are sometimes able to obtain family photos from Facebook, etc., to put in their room.
11. Be prepared for not receiving a lot of clothing. Be prepared for outbursts. Remember, if your house were on fire and you were given five minutes to retrieve your things, that’s how they feel – PLUS they have no family. It may seem overwhelming at first, but try to practice patience and understanding. They are not being "bad" – they are just scared. They are coming to you with an emotional suitcase, and it will take time to see what is in it!
12. If you have some time, go to YouTube and watch two very enlightening foster care videos to give you some insight:
ReMoved Part 1
Remember My Story - ReMoved Part 2
13. Lastly, remember that the goal in foster care is reunification. Don't give up on the children. Adoption can happen, but your first action is to make them feel safe, loved, and secure.
Clothing
Savers (a Boston area thrift store chain) always has 50% off all clothing on holidays and Sundays with a rewards card (it’s free – get one prior to a sale). Walmart is always good for kids’ clothing. Contact me if you need baby items and I will try to help you locate a source.
If you find that you have an emergency placement and need clothing, please contact me – I will find a way to help you. Please remember if you agree to an emergency placement you are supposed to get a gift card to help with necessary items for the child. Cradle to Crayons also has a diaper bank. If you run out and buy diapers in an emergency DO NOT use CVS diapers – they will leak like crazy. Walgreens and Target have the best no-name diaper options if you’re not using Pampers/Huggies/Luvs. The Toys R US premium brand is pretty good as well, but NOT their value brand. If you take in a child under five, apply for WIC – you can usually get an appointment within a week, since a lot of people do not show up for their appointments. This will help with formula, which can be very expensive. WIC also has some great workshops for parents and foster parents of children under five.
Mid-June 2015 I will have clothing available for emergency placement. They will be separated by age, gender, and size. It will be enough for a couple of days until you get your gift card, as you are supposed to. THIS IS THE PROCEDURE for ALL emergency placements or until you can get to a store. If you are not given a gift card for an emergency placement, request one. If the social worker after placement says it's not an emergency placement, when originally that's what you were told, report it to their supervisor. Ask for the contact information for the Foster Parent Liaison contact at their office. If they do not know, contact MSPCC (Mass Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Children). Remember, I walked the walk and I know what it’s like to take in children and have nothing come with them.